fifteen fifty four


Whats in a number?

They Say That The Human Psyche Can Handle Only 4 Traumatic Experiences In A Lifetime.

People join the Emergency Services to help others but who looks after them?

Most Emergency Service Workers deal with more than 4 traumatic experiences every single shift and are also expected to deal with it. Comments are frequent, “That’s what you get paid for…” or “What did you expect?”


With constant changes to working practices and expectations from the ‘public’ in the modern day working place are increasing demands being placed on the Uniform. Pressure keeps building and managers expect more, for less.

I know what it is like. I was there in a Blue uniform for 19 years, I was Fifteen-Fifty-Four. Job after job after job was the norm. There was more work coming in, more than I could deal with. Work followed me home, played on my mind and never gave me a break.

After 19 years in a career that I only ever saw as my life long career, I was drained. My emotional feelings were dead and the continued work pressure broke me, beyond repair.

Being in a hole, that I was unable to get out of by myself, I hoped that my employers and colleagues would lend a helping hand. All my years of service and my dedication of running toward the danger meant nothing. Instead all I got was the cold shoulder from my shift and then disciplined for being ill.

Therapy failed. I was on the edge more than once. Mental Health services are swamped and I fell through the crack, being told I was stronger than I think.

I had nowhere to go and no one to help. My life fell apart, my marriage ended badly, my home was sold and my own business that I was once so proud of was turned to dust. There was only going to be one person who could bring it all back.

After years of being in Limbo, I had had enough. Taking one thing at a time, sorting just one thing at a time, I started to climb out.

I am still striving to get out of the hole. I look back at my journey and see that it is more than I ever thought it was. Social media is full of Emergency Service workers, all of them suffering the same, going through similar problems and all looking for help.

My new book has been written and I hope that it will be published soon. When i have an update I will let you all know.

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