June 16, 2026
For those who do not know, my Policing career ended in what I thought was an undignified manner. I was asked to retire on medical grounds and not in the glory of being able to complete my entire 30 year service. At 43 years old, I handed in my warrant card and walked out of a door that had become my home over the previous 19 years. Many cops, old colleagues and still serving officers have asked how I transitioned into ‘civvie’ life, and it is no secret – as I have an entire section in my book that explained my route through it.
My story is not just for cops; anyone can do it. It just happens to be my personal story. For me, this was not the only issue (battling with PTSD and other concerns), but the main point was that I needed to change track fast. I had responsibilities! How was I going to live, survive and still be useful in the working world?
So I leaned into my book and focused on the last section, the change principles. Apart from the other chapters I worked through, I knew I had to focus on what I wanted my future to look like. This was no small task, as I had no idea where I would live, who I would be. But what I did know is that I wanted to be happy and fulfilled.
You cannot create a future you have never imagined.
The realisation for me was that if a caveman wanted a swimming pool, he couldn’t start by digging a hole. He first had to imagine what a swimming pool was. Change works in exactly the same way. Before we change our circumstances, we have to create a picture of what we want life to feel like when we get there.
That was enough for me to start to focus on my future. I sat for hours formulating my picture in my head. I focused on me being happy and what that felt like, as well as what that brought to my life. Not the work, the job or the town that I lived in. I had one big ask, TO BE HAPPY.
The rest of it fell into place. I won’t lie, as it was tough. I had a few months of collecting my things, thoughts and regrouping, but my resolve was solid. All that I wanted was to be happy. Suddenly things started to land. I had a potential next career path start to carve itself out, something I could follow and then some job offers, and before I knew it I was working as a Project Manager on things I never knew I’d be part of or that anyone could be involved with.
The trick to how this was achieved is not a secret. No one has barred access, as anyone can do it. Perhaps my situation was extreme, but in honesty, it shows that if it worked for me, someone in a more fortunate position may find it easier.
What I did was to have a picture in my mind. All of it was held in my head. I am a terrible artist with pencil, paint or even crayons, but this was easy. It was the most detailed and descriptive picture I could make as a vivid and happy outcome of my situation. This picture was of me being happy, the look on my face, how I looked, relaxed, comfortable and that I had found peace. I focused on it so hard that it was burned into my brain. Even 7 years later, I can recall that image, and it makes me smile. When I focus on it, it still makes me feel everything I wanted to experience.
The first step in change isn’t movement. It’s imagination.
The picture was my driver, my focus and my positive action. Everything from that then flowed: my attitude improved, my focus became less haphazard, and my mood improved. These follow-on things are the reason I made the change, not the picture; that was just the catalyst, but without it I’d never have been so fortunate.
Change is hard, no doubt about it, and anyone telling you otherwise does not understand the human psyche behind it. We constantly doubt ourselves, fear change because of the unknown, and listen to the wrong advice all the time because we are scared. What you can do, however, is control what you want to feel. Once you have that firmly in your mind’s grasp, the rest of the emotions, body and outcomes tend to follow. If you want to be happy, strong or successful, these are all powerful motivational drivers. However, as a word of caution, if you focus on pain, suffering and anger, your mind and body can take you there just as easily.
So choose wisely the picture you draw in your mind. It may not solve every problem overnight, but it will give you direction when everything else feels uncertain. Seven years later, my picture is still there, and it is still a driver of my happiness. Sometimes the first step in creating change is not taking action at all. Sometimes it is simply having the courage to imagine a better future.
If you’re facing change today, don’t start by asking what you need to do. Start by asking what you want your future to feel like. Draw that picture first. Even a caveman knows it’s easier to build something when you can see it.
Caveman Thought
Before the caveman built the swimming pool, he had to picture himself swimming in it. That led to how it would make him feel: the cool water, the weightlessness and the peace, but it started with the picture.
Parting Question
Before you move on with your day, take a moment to think about the last significant change you experienced. Did you have a clear picture of what you wanted life to look like on the other side, or were you simply trying to survive the journey? More importantly, if you had drawn that picture first, would the outcome have been different, or would it simply have made the path easier to follow?
As always, stay away from sabre-tooth tigers. I will be away for a few weeks, touring Canada! I might find time to post next week’s newsletter, but if not, I will return with new stories and Caveman insights soon.
Your friend,
Carl – The Caveman.
P.S. When you are ready, here are a few things that might help you;
1) You can book me to attend your next event as a Keynote Speaker.
2) Do you want to do a FREE personality test? Check out The Caveman Principles Tribal Sorter.
3) Check out my new website – The SLAP Technique
4) Grab a copy of my book, direct from my printing agent (as I may still be on holiday).
5) You might want to book yourself onto one of my eLearning courses to help you master a new skill.
6) Or if you have the time and want to find time for a Caveman chat (with virtual coffee) on a discovery call, do it here!