July 22, 2026
You may be reading this thinking it is about fitness and resistance bands, and if so, I am sorry to disappoint you, but if you want to keep reading, I’ll make it worth your while.
Here is the thing about mental resistance that nobody tells you: other people’s opinions don’t just change your mind — they physically alter it. Your brain works by firing electrical pathways between billions of nerve connections. The more a pathway gets used, the stronger it becomes. That is how skills are built, habits are formed, and confidence grows. But here is the flip side, those same pathways can get stunted, misfired, or abandoned when too much conflicting noise forces its way in.
Picture our Mammoth. It has spotted a huge patch of wild cabbages and wants to go and get them. It mentions this to a few friends. Suddenly, everyone has an opinion, none of them was asked to give, yet all of them are conflicting. That route is dangerous. I wouldn’t bother. You’d be foolish to try it that way. The Mammoth, who was perfectly capable of finding the cabbages, is now frozen. Confused, and eventually decides not to bother at all.
The cabbages go uneaten. Not because the Mammoth couldn’t get there. Because it asked the wrong people.
I believe I have lived a relatively quiet and uneventful life. I became a police officer, joined the RAF Reserves whilst serving, and was deployed to Afghanistan. I wrote a book and started a speaking business. I left the police and became a Project Manager in the MOD, delivering multiple multi-million pound projects. On the side, I renovated four houses with my own hands, fixed up two old cars, and have been to almost every corner of the world.
Then I write it out like that and realise I may be a little bit underselling myself. None of it happened because someone told me it was a good idea. I have been looking into why people get stuck. Why their own resistance robs them of the skills, drive and determination they need. And what I have worked out is this: the reason I have done so much, and intend to keep going, is that I simply do not listen to people I believe will hold me back. I do not even associate (or, if I have to, I manage them and the conversation – you know I mean family) with them.
So many people I have spoken to have wonderful ideas, genuine dreams, real desires for their lives, and have done nothing with any of them. When I ask why, they say it was a stupid idea, or they didn’t want to waste their time. But I recognise that language. That is not their voice. That is someone else’s voice that they have started to believe is their own.
What I have learned, the hard and wonderful way, is to do it my way. I ask questions of everyone, gather everything in, good advice and bad, and use it all to work out the best path forward. Bad advice is still useful; it tells you exactly what not to do.
Recently I mentioned to a friend — thank you, Claire Young — that I wanted to get on the radio. She didn’t know how to make it happen, but her advice was immediate and simple: pick up the phone and do it. So I did, I Googled a number, called, and happened to get through to the BBC breakfast producer. She invited me on the show — right then and there, date in the diary, next to the breakfast presenter in the studio.
And what a studio. Every mic, every button, every fader and screen, I was mesmerised just watching the presenter work. The whole machine of live radio running around me, calm and precise, while I sat in the middle of it. It was wonderful. I cannot wait to go back and do it again.
If you want to hear it: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002y9rk
Now, am I lucky? Perhaps a little. I have been fortunate in ways I don’t take for granted. But luck does not renovate four houses, or get deployed to Afghanistan, or cold-call a BBC producer on a Wednesday morning. What does that is the decision — made quietly, and made alone — not to let anyone else’s frozen brain become yours.
The Mammoth didn’t get the cabbages because it asked the wrong people. Not bad people, just people who had never made that particular journey and are maybe jealous, scared or doubtful themselves. Their doubt wasn’t data. It was just noise from a brain that had never tried the route, or even considered it until the Mammoth mentioned it.
Next time you have an idea, notice who you are telling it to. And ask yourself: have they ever done anything like it? And did I ask for advice, and should I use the information they give me?
If they haven’t, their hesitation is not wisdom. It is their resistance, not yours. Don’t carry it.
Caveman Thought
The Mammoth never lacked the strength to reach the cabbages. It just made the mistake of asking people who had never left the cave.
Parting Question
Think about one thing you have been sitting on — an idea, a call you haven’t made, a door you haven’t knocked. Whose voice is telling you not to bother? And when did you decide that voice knew better than you?
As always, be the tribal member you are meant to be. It makes for a much easier and happier life.
Your friend,
Carl – The Caveman.
P.S. When you are ready, here are a few things that might help you;
- You can book me to attend your next event as a Keynote Speaker.
- Do you want to do a FREE personality test? Check out The Caveman Principles Tribal Sorter.
- Check out my theories – The SLAP Technique
- Grab a copy of my book The Caveman Principles, directly from my printing agent.
- You might want to book yourself onto one of my eLearning courses to help you master a new skill.
- Or if you have the time and want to find time for a Caveman chat (with virtual coffee) on a discovery call, do it here.